The BlackDiamondEquipment, Ltd. Of Life.

Just a week ago I was talking to my friend Jeff about climbing. He, and another friend of ours, Mike, were admitting their fear of being so high in the air.
I scoffed, you know, me being the awesome, experienced climber I am:
"It's so safe," I said, "You just have to trust your harness. The rope. The knot. Yourself. Your belayer."
Jeff looked at me incredulously, and replied:
"But I've never taken a fall. How do I know I'll be caught?"

Climbing is a life lesson.
And it has taught me that life is sick. Honestly.
Why is it that one can't succeed without first having one's limits tested, without taking that first fall?

My first fall was planned out. I checked and recheck the knots. Slowly clipped into each separate bolt as I made my way higher off the ground. I kept stopping and re-evaluating the situation. People from the balconies that overlook the wall began to watch. I got to the top; some 25 feet above the ground. I was only one bolt above my last clip in. Looking down I saw Brian, my belayer and a group of smiling fellow climbers. All cheering me on. They had been here before. I let go. Not only trusting, which can be deceived, but also KNOWING that Brian would catch me. And he did. I took my first fall. Now I know that I will be caught.

And I've come to accept, over the past 22 years, that this is the way life works.
You have to fail your first spelling test to realize what studying really is.
You have to get in your first fender bender to see the importance of defensive driving.
You have to break that first bone to be shown that you're not made of steel.

These are lessons I accept. Like climbing, I realize that I can't trust the rope until my trust has been tested.
But there are the other ones that I find disheartening.

You don't appreciate your family, until you're attending your grandma's funeral.
You don't understand a person's cruelty, until you've been violated.
You don't understand love, until you've been broken hearted.

I hate life lessons.
Climbing is so much simpler.

Being in Italy has separated me from the people/places/things I love the most. And I guess it is from a distance that you see the clearest. It's like I was near-sighted. And now I can focus.

Although feeling negatively, I am blessed.
I have been tested.
And will be tested again, I am sure.

Sandy Dunwoody once said to me: Don't hold back. Because even if you do fail, you've failed before, and you know you'll survive.
She's right, she is almost always right.

So, as much as I want to hold back and not even tie in for that climb, I know that without attempting to reach the top of this route I'll never realize what it is like to:

Succeed
Struggle
Trust
&
Fall.



In unrelated news: Rob Lindberg has agree to drink only Organe Juice from Babbs for the rest of his life. Thanks, Rob.